Today just got harder as it went on. Every meal was late, so dinner didnt end up happening until 9, which isjust too late. I had just had an awful convorsation with my mom...about how just...she dosnt care, and how i feel and how she thinks i just want attention and symptathy when in reality I just miss my family. It ended with me telling ehr to fuck off and hanging up. And right after that I had to do dinner, which was so late because the ensure ran out. Maureen held my hands and I just cried and cried.

Im so sick of crying and pacing and feeling like I cant leave the ensure in me, like I need to movemovemove move to get it out of me, to not let it sit and make me fat. I hate the intense feeling that says keep moving, dont sit, get it out.

im dreading doing the whole thing over tomorrow.

tonight i am so lonely. so sad.i just wish this would all be over.