Well, I don't have any boots on, but I HAVE been doing a lot of walking. Dinner time was hard, I fought and fought but I just wasn't strong enough to get my hands free. That was the first time in a few days I have actually wanted to pull the tube out.
I got an increased dose of zyprexa tonight. 5mg. Should make me sleepy but it didn't. I got it with my ensure and I walked over an hour after. I just could not stop. I only meant to do half an hour but my mind was racing.
My stomach is killing me. It's swollen and hard, I look like I'm 5 months pregnant and it's really uncomfortable.
I'm angry because Ifeel like no one is listening to me and its so frustrating. Im forgoing grammer right now in this rant, for the sake of writing fast. everyone is telling me to talk to a different person about getting to the treatment place in arizona, no one can give me a straight answer. everytime i press the call bell, i wait over an hour and my nurse never shows. emily was late for our meeting, and i got really upset, and felt guilty about being upset, but all the little things really matter now. she wants us to do this thing where we dont alk for 10minutes and we write in these little books, or draw. its uncomfortable and idont like it and i cant get my thoughts out because my head is constantly spinning like a merry go round.
I can't even finish blogging. I need to write about talking to emma, about tomorrow being lillis birthday, about everything.
I hate this body. I can't wait t obe able to change it. My attorney is coming up on Thursday to give me paperwork, shes pretty confident the guardianship will be onver Monday. I can NOT WAIT.
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